and just like glass.. i see through you..

I feel alone, alone in a black room, black walls, black floor, black door, no windows. The feeling of helplessness is in full swing. Searching for the colorful, bright, inspiring decor that once was. I remain confused as to why I cannot find it. Knowing it's there, underneath the surface, wishing it would just appear, break out, show itself once again.

..for now I wait, wait for those colors that once inspired me to a degree I never knew was possible, wait for it to reappear or for the light that still stands to finally flicker out, for good.

I am never content, never settled. I am always moving, changing, morphing, marinating, observing.

I long to be home, safe, secure. With familiarity. With family, friends... who've got my back. I am homesick, feeling it in its fullest. This is the worst kind though the kind where nothing can make it better expect the embraces that will soon be had.