If you believe in me, I might just want to spend some time with you again.

my exact feelings as of late, like i'm up against a wall. yet there's room for me to move around the wall i just need some help. i need something new, fresh, exciting, stimulating. i think my anxiety about my line and about my acceptance or rejection from grad school/jobs is slowly eating away at me. as like everything else in life, i keep those worries inside. so i am trying to let them out now. my doctor will be pleased with this.

i have stopped biting my nails.. HOORAY. only took 21 years, god dammit. so now i paint them pretty colors all the time. YES! stress reliever. this is the base of a new painting i am starting.

thank you to becki for coming to the rescue this weekend and spending some quality time with me, and getting me out into the beautiful city i am so close too. it was such a good re-fresher. i feel out of the funk that I was stuck in and am ready to sew my fingers off! ...juuust kidding.

happy 22nd maris.

wish this could be everyday. <3 miss you both.

my mind runs. constantly.

Currently: I don't want to graduate without doing every possibly thing I've ever wanted to do while in college. I don't want this chapter of my life to end with me saying.. "I really wish I.."

Tackling: Documenting the lives of design majors, to give outsiders a tangible look at what is it we do. Hoping to promote others respect and understanding of what is involved in such a lifestyle choice. I may not know how to do this, but somehow it will be conquered.

Uncertainties: May 17th 2010 is to me as January 1 2012 is to others.

Routine: "Im going to Egypt" has become a natural sentence to spit out. When will this spit up turn into reality.. probably sooner than I am mentally prepared for.

Insiprartions: Anisa Phillips. Her creativity and confidence are things that I aspire to have. The confidence to KNOW that I am capable of anything she was to throw at me. The trust she instilled in me to create and install such works of art lead to an amazing realization that I can do anything. Im still working on the part where I actually trust myself. 

Hopes: To rid myself of prescriptions and sooth my anxiety, sleeplessness and migraines with a focused mind on making my imaginaries tangible.

Goals: Running list x2 every morning. Which means its time for a new list. His voice once pumped me up, now it just makes me want to punch him in the face.

Ironies: How an ex-boyfriend sings about his ex-girlfriend calling him an "asshole", when thats the only word to describe how this ex-girlfriend feels about another ex-boyfriend of hers. make sense?

"you're an asshole, was the last thing that she said"

its never going to happen..

and i have finally let it go..














..for now.

DOWN TIME

Cash for Clunkers

One day in August, while driving home from work, I caught up to a man driving a "clunker" truck. On the back he had so perfectly constructed a banner saying "I <3 MY CLUNKER".

I just need to write that down. That man loved himself and his life, no matter what others might have thought.

TRUTH

Fast Forward 3 Months

..Adventures in Paris, Philadelphia and Florida, work at my favorite GapKids, visits from missed loved ones, tons of birthdays; including yours truly, a sad 5 year anniversary, two incredible tribute concerts, many doctor appointments and antibiotics, countless adventures and photoshoots and one tonsillectomy later I find myself dropped off by the DeLorean in the middle of September. I am not yet free from the "unhealthy" feeling, although I felt a bit of relief for about a week and was able to sneak in a few outings with my girlfriends. I am now attacked by allergies and hoping it stays at that and nothing worse comes my way.


Numerous new exciting opportunities have come my way in the first few week of my senior year and I am ready to take them all on with tons of ambition and hard work.. drowsiness permitting.


I have no energy to write anymore. this blog post has been idle for about 2 hours now and this is all Ive got. Im tired and have lots of homework on my mind. Time to actually get it done! ...right after i upload some photos!

At the highest point in Paris

Douglas (the monkey) hanging out backstage at Mens Fashion week

Notre Dame with Jennifer!

Christopher came home for a visit!

Snuggle time with Dan and Lynds

Reunited  at Vans Memorial

Dorrie and I at Disney!

Pop Rock Martinis!!!

At the Boardwalk in Disney

Clearwater Beach

Giant ice cream cones in St Petersburg with Andrew

Belchertown State School

Some creepy place corey brought me to..

Congamuckruckruck

XX