Nostalgia

Tonight I have a deep yearning to be home. To wake up to my mom cooking brunch.. To fall asleep on the couch with the white noise of football in the distance.. To drive around town with people who know me better than I know myself..

It's hard feeling this way, because I already anticipate the feelings I know will come when I'm home.. The need to get away.. To find inspiration.. To grow and become the woman I want to be.. To not fall into the routine.. To not fall for things that cannot be..


But for now. for however long I'm going to lie awake for. I'll miss it whole heartedly..the good and the bad.

A blurry, chaotic, tangled, vicious dream.. a wavering mind and body.

Sad eyes, heavy heart, twisted thoughts.

Unsettled.

Life's mysteries and tragic events. It's never fair.

Photoshoot in Manayunk, Philadelphia

Check out

imagesbybeckimartin.blogspot.com

for more from the shoot.

sometimes the only thing you can hold onto is your imagination. it is alive all the time. when awake, when asleep. it carries us through. some stronger than others, more potent, more reckless. i feel the only way to stay sane is to find the inspiration, inject it into your flowing stream of endless thinking, and spit out something fresh, something pure, unadulterated. don't ask why, "why" always gets in the way, just do. don't ask, don't question.

new goal:

to finish the book i am reading and the 3 other books i have left before the end of 2010.

i can, i can, i can, i can, i can, i can, i can.

________________________________________________________________


i have been proven right, over and over and over again.
there is evidence that i'm wrong. however that evidence is not in my atmosphere.
until it is, i don't believe it.
please, prove me wrong, once again, i dare you.

storms a brewin'

yeah, this is directly related. personal.

dissect as you will.