Erinpitts.tumblr.com

Erinpitts.tumblr.com

Banana Bread batter!!!!

WITH CHOCOLATE CHIPS!!!!!!

YUUUUUMMMMM!!!

the steady hum
of lonesome days
a constant dawn
an endless dusk
a rush of choas
flowing smooth
long awaits
a painted rouge.

the steady hum
of lonesome days
a constant dawn
an endless dusk
a rush of choas
flowing smooth
long awaits
a painted rouge.

the steady hum
of lonesome days
a constant dawn
an endless dusk
a rush of choas
flowing smooth
long awaits
a painted rouge.

Aching Heart

My unconscious mind filters things much quicker that my conscious mind ever could. It brings me to states where I feel unsettled, helpless, unsure.

I feel so guilty sometimes. Two different explanations. I got so lucky in life. I've lost people, had heartache, as most people have, but I've been given every opportunity I could ever want, I've been given the option to do whatever it is I want to do. Never been thrown on the street and told to fend for myself. Not always understood but always pushed to the next thing. Without question of "how" that next thing will happen. Why do I deserve to not worry about the "how"?

I am in a new city and loving it more and more each day. I am challenging myself, accomplishing goals and finally making old wishes come true. How can I do all this when people I love are suffering, when people I love are far.. and moving farther, when all I can think about right now is that I'd give it all up just to see lost loved ones one more time.

Im not sure how to cross back over the fence at this point. I am not normally missing home like this, my last dose of reality has probably worn off, maybe I'm due for another prescription. Normally I'm using peoples lifestyles, adventures and tragedies as motivators to push me to live my dream. My existence in this moment is all thanks to the ones I've loved and lost, I need to get on the other side.. "where the grass is greener"

Nostalgia

Tonight I have a deep yearning to be home. To wake up to my mom cooking brunch.. To fall asleep on the couch with the white noise of football in the distance.. To drive around town with people who know me better than I know myself..

It's hard feeling this way, because I already anticipate the feelings I know will come when I'm home.. The need to get away.. To find inspiration.. To grow and become the woman I want to be.. To not fall into the routine.. To not fall for things that cannot be..


But for now. for however long I'm going to lie awake for. I'll miss it whole heartedly..the good and the bad.

A blurry, chaotic, tangled, vicious dream.. a wavering mind and body.

Sad eyes, heavy heart, twisted thoughts.

Unsettled.

Life's mysteries and tragic events. It's never fair.

Photoshoot in Manayunk, Philadelphia

Check out

imagesbybeckimartin.blogspot.com

for more from the shoot.

sometimes the only thing you can hold onto is your imagination. it is alive all the time. when awake, when asleep. it carries us through. some stronger than others, more potent, more reckless. i feel the only way to stay sane is to find the inspiration, inject it into your flowing stream of endless thinking, and spit out something fresh, something pure, unadulterated. don't ask why, "why" always gets in the way, just do. don't ask, don't question.

new goal:

to finish the book i am reading and the 3 other books i have left before the end of 2010.

i can, i can, i can, i can, i can, i can, i can.

________________________________________________________________


i have been proven right, over and over and over again.
there is evidence that i'm wrong. however that evidence is not in my atmosphere.
until it is, i don't believe it.
please, prove me wrong, once again, i dare you.

storms a brewin'

yeah, this is directly related. personal.

dissect as you will.

Finally some sewing...

insomnia showed up uninvited this week.

the haunting breeze always seems to swoop right in. bringing tales of revisiting unwanted lands. bringing light to recent events that have had opening night in wonderland but not in this land. events...conversations.. that will be cherished if the curtain call shows up ahead of schedule.

sing me to sleep.

______________________________________________________________

the thoughts that wanted to intrude, did, in a moment that

deserved to be pure and filtered from such infections.

_____________________________________________________________

this new atmosphere brings new light and space.

light to see and space to grow.

the wheels are have already hit the ground.

and are running. fast.

______________________________________________________________

there is no end in sight

the start is concrete and focused

with a tight grip on time spent

slipping away.

New Home

New Art

done.
all set.
over it.
ready.

its seems like a steady cycle.
a consistent one as well.
anticipation kicks in.
instigation's are had.
(the ones necessary for a sudden urgency)
my mind is made up.

i want out.
i'm tapping out.
i'm folding.
i'm gone.

this could be all lies.
those little things that seem monumental.
take over the monumental things that seem little.
its a very deceiving light.
one not easily found in the dark.

she walks, with that staggered rhythm that most adopt when walking briskly with a suitcase. heartbeats getting faster, steps getting slower. anticipating yet avoiding what the next down escalator could hold. to her dismay, yet expectation, it held nothing.

nothing.